Slightly Irritating
by NothingToulouse
Summary: inspired by otherhawk. Ocean's 12, Rome, night before the day of. Linus gets woken by an urgent call. Warnings: bored!Rusty


Credit goes to otherhawk who inspired this in any possible way.

* * *

**Slightly Irritating**

-

It had been around 2am when Linus had heard voices outside his room, quiet laughter and someone had said something about Amaretto and chocolate and he had been certain that the answer had involved Don Quixote, but through the thick clouds of sleep it had felt just like one of the bemusing dreams he had first had in Vegas, three years ago.

-

At 3:45 his phone rang, cheerful and merciless, and Linus rolled to the side. Blood pumping through his veins, he saw the Caller ID, and panic started to form somewhere in the back of his head. Somewhere something had gone wrong.

"Danny?"

"Just how long does it take you to answer the phone? It's a matter of life and death."

One sentence, and it was enough to alarm him. He was already half-way out of bed and had switched the lamp on his nightstand on, when he heard a quite familiar laugh in the background.

Slowly, he sank back into the sheets. The last time someone had pulled a prank call on him had been in high school.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is," he muttered and he could hear Danny grin.

"Well, it could be."

As if they would have called _him_ under those circumstances. He could hear Rusty laughing some more, then someone said something in Italian.

"What is going on, Danny?"

"Oh, well, that's the interesting part. But first, you have to understand that it was all Rusty's idea." Danny giggled and Linus was sure he had never heard him do_ that_ before. "You see, they're thinking about pressing charges."

Linus wanted to be debonair and cool, but he had to ask.

"Who exactly is 'they'?"

"Ah, the policemen, of course."

Again, the quick rush of panic and alarm, although small enough to manage to control it – and control his voice – this time. "Police? Damn, Danny! What the hell?"

"Let me talk to him," Rusty said and then he added something in quick Italian. Linus leaned his head against the wall, waiting.

"Kid?"

"Rusty, what is…" The thought to say "wrong with you?" crossed his mind, but then he shook his head and ended with: "…this all about? It's the day of."

Not listening, Rusty said: "Right. Listen."

And Linus tried, he really tried to listen, but then Danny's voice was there again and he was talking about Sophia Loren and he could hear Rusty shaking with silent laughter. And for a second or two, he considered hanging up and switching the phone off. Why on earth had he asked for more central role?!

"Linus?"

"Rusty, I'm…"

"Please come to the police station in the, uh, Via Avour. Ecru-coloured house. Not beige. _Ecru._" A muffled noise. "Danny, I can't breathe. Thanks_._" Linus felt like crying. "Oh, and bring 800€, would you?"

Automatically, the question formed on his lips. "Cash?"

"Well, I don't think they have a card reader for bail money." And now they were both laughing.

-

Twenty minutes later, Linus found himself in a small room with salmon pink flowers and yellow stucco, handing 800€ over to an amused _poliziotto_ who reminded him of Don Vito Corleone and who explained something about a Vespa, _alcol_, funny _americani_ and very good _amici_ to him.

Then he had to wait for Rusty to win at Dominoes.

-

At 4:22 and after some _Arrivederci_ and _abbracci_, they left the police station. All the questions that had seemed important to him made him sound uptight in his head, and so Linus watched Danny walking with one feet on the street and one on the sidewalk, while Rusty got on the orange Vespa, which they had with them for some reason, as soon as they were out of earshot and slalomed around them.

"You think they…"

"… definitely. It helped that…"

"Yeah. Would you…"

"Never. Then again, she seemed nice, but I think she didn't want to hurt your feelings."

Danny paused and looked at Linus. "He's slightly irritating sometimes, isn't he?"

-

After ten minutes, he realised they were walking in the wrong direction.

"Uh, guys…" He stopped, hoping they would, too, but Rusty only swerved a street lamp and Danny began to whistle. Linus counted to ten and tried again: "We have to go back. The hotel's in the other…"

"Oh, yeah, but we have to return the Vespa first," Rusty said and waited for Danny to catch up and sit behind him.

Comments like "I'm not going to let you live that down!" and "You'll never hear the end of this!" crossed his mind, but at the same moment he knew he wouldn't tell anyone. And if he did, the others would laugh. But not at them.

And then Danny said "No parlo italiano molto bene, mi dispiace" which had Rusty laughing so hard he almost crashed into a refuse bin and for once, Linus didn't even want to hear about it.

-

It was seven minutes past five when they reached the hotel in a silence that was only broken by Danny's random chuckles and Rusty singing bits of Tu vuo' fa l'Americano while eating the second of the three _ciambelli_ cakes he had purchased at a nearby market. It had been there where they had found out that Rusty had had enough cash with him to pay the bail and Linus had just wanted to punch him.

After Rusty had exchanged pleasantries with the concierge, they took the elevator to the second floor. When the doors closed, Danny announced stony-faced that they should "not panic, they will open again" and Rusty checked his reflection.

When they reached their floor, Linus, seeing the smiles and the glances, only nodded at them.

And then they both disappeared into Rusty's room.

--

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As I said - inspired by otherhawk. In the "Worth Waiting" one-shot I wrote something about Danny remembering "getting a Vespa at two in the morning." And otherhawk just had to imagine them getting caught and "phoning Linus at three o'clock in the morning, day of, for bail money for being drunk in charge of a Vespa" and the image wouldn't leave my head. And being in a "here goes nothing" mood makes you do this. And if you want to thank anyone, then go to otherhawk. And if you want to complain about the outcome, well, I'd be the one. Because you can't deny the idea is awesome.


End file.
